====January 4th, 2014
====Jedi, Llioramasith
==== A while after this.

Who Jedi, Llioramasith
What A while after this.
When There are 0 turns, 3 months and 20 days until the 12th pass.
Where Jedi's Hidden Liquor Stash, Southern Weyr


Jedi's Hidden Liquor Stash
A cranny of the weyr where Jedi's been hiding the best parts of her liquor for some time now. There's a modest collection, supplemented often and taken from even more often. It's all cleverly hidden in crates, no one passing by would suspect liquor here.

True to her word, she had initially gone home to her weyr. Just long enough to sleep off the worst of the liquor, and to work off the headache that followed waking. It was still early by then, early enough that she didn't need to worry about drills yet; so she did the one thing that made the most sense. Jedi went to her liquor stash.

Though she had had enough to drink the night before to be fairly liquored up, snatches of the conversation with Yules and Renalde linger in her mind even now, candlemarks after waking. Some of them she was glad to remember, and smiled just thinking about them.

"Though I'd fuck y'both in a heartbeat, don't get m'wrong. Y'both're just so…"
"I… I'm flattered."
" And you are beginning to scare the runners with such talk, really, that sort of thing is best kept for when one is in private."

But others… Others she knew rang too true, and it stung deeper than she would let show.

"Meant what I said, 'specially t'you, Rena. Don't jus'dismiss't's drunk talk."
"I make it a point to not take what is spoken with the help of drink with any measure of salt.
"Shame I always seem t'run into y'with drink in me, then, Rena."

She'd noticed it again lately, just like not long after graduation from Weyrlinghood. She was slipping into tendencies she'd seen from her father back before, and even more so now. It was a slippery slope, and though she had fought it off before, she wasn't sure she could fight it off again this time if she didn't stop now. Before it got as slippery as the last time. Before it became something she couldn't find her way back from.

That wasn't the kind of person she wanted to be, not really. It wasn't the kind of parent she wanted to be either.

Maybe she would regret this choice when Threadfall came in earnest, but if so she'd face her consequences then. But she wouldn't let herself turn back to this, not again. No matter what.

True, it had started out both times simply as a coping mechanism. Both times, however, it had grown past that.

"Lli." Her lifemate had been waiting for this, just like last time. This time, they'd make sure she couldn't get her hands on it again. Some of it they put aside, to be delivered to people who'd definitely appreciate it. The rest of it… The look on Renalde's face the night before flashed through her eyes again every single time she dumped another bottle or wineskin.

Once the stuff that was deemed worthy of being passed on was rid of, she'd just have to find a new way. A better way to cope. Something that worked better.

A niggling fear pressed at the back of her mind that nothing would like the alcohol had. She squashed it.

Maybe nothing would work as good, and maybe in the end she'd return to alcohol, but for now…for now, Jedi was going to work on finding a new way. A better way.

A better coping mechanism.

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