Who

Cascabel

What

Those moments between past and yet to come.

When

End of summer/beginning of autumn; thoughts over a span of time.

Where

Igen Weyr

OOC Date 06 Aug 2018 04:00

 

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Everyone had a lock for which they were a key.


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It is hard to remember how to be someone when all of a sudden you find that you belong nowhere.

It is hard to finally become someone when you've spent so long trying to fight for the fact that you think you are, and want other people to even maybe a little bit treat you like you could be, and then once you have finally done the objectively terrible thing that made you so —

At that point, that is when you find out that you are not someone, because people are made up of aspects and parts and connections, and people identify based on what they do, and you are actually doing nothing at all.

* * * *

It wasn't to say that Cascabel didn't try. The Weyr was foreign and not-foreign simultaneously; she had been under its auspices for turns, but also didn't fit. Somewhere she figured she must. Everyone had a lock for which they were a key (if perhaps not the key, because not everyone were dragons and riders or star-crossed lovers, but surely some were) but Cas had yet to find hers.

There was a confidence required in asking someone for a proper job, for help finding that place, that she hadn't regained yet, even if she carried herself as if she feared nothing while at the same time seeming very small.

In some ways she was endlessly confident, in private, in places where she felt she had any sense of control — all of those were gone. She had given them up. She had made that choice. She had set herself free, because she had to, for her own sake and for Campion's.

He, at least, was well: she looked in on him less and less, not wanting him to grow to expect her, because she was in no place to be anyone's mother.

She was in no place to be much of anything.

She'd yet to find her place, and had to find resolve: she couldn't keep waiting for it to find her.

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