Who

Delila, Kyara

What

(Backscened) Several candlemarks after Kaelidyth's flight, Delila visits Kyara to address some familiar concerns.

When

It is evening of the third day of the fifth month of the third Turn of the 12th Pass.

Where

Locum Cantibus et Lux (Kyara's weyr); Igen Weyr

OOC Date 18 Nov 2014 07:00

 

delila_default.jpg kyara_default.jpg


Locum Cantibus et Lux

The dominating feature of this curious cavern is the column in its midst - naturally formed and pocked with many small, flat-bottomed alcoves. Pillar candles fill many of these spaces, while others hold books or remain empty for firelizard use. Smooth, porous walls marbled in creamy sandstone hues make a rough square as tall as a man and half again. The right wall jinks into a decisive angle to form a corner giving way to a smaller space - a composer's nook, where a small table and two stools sit atop a small blue rug. The surrounding stone shelves hold several glowbaskets and encased instruments. Separated from the rest of the weyr by deep sapphire hangings is a simple, full-sized bed sitting upon a forest green carpet. More shelves jut from the walls here, holding more candles, books, and small, carved wooden boxes containing personal treasures. A wooden chest sits against the wall to the right. In the main space, a low table surrounded by sitting cushions rests upon another carpet - Igen-woven in local patterns and the Weyr's colors. A few comfortable chairs are present for visitors who don't wish to be so close to the ground. On the walls, small, thick quilts of deep green and mellow gold hang at regular intervals. The north wall bears a small, simple hearth, which Kyara keeps going almost constantly in the colder months. Light from both glows and candles mingle against the swirled rock as the subtle scent of candle wax fills the air, creating a warm, inviting atmosphere - a place of song and light.


Delila has left Amazolith outside to chat with Kyara's green although she's been really chatty with other dragons lately…other male dragon. She has asked to see Kyara and gently knocks on the door to Kyara's weyr. She is a bit nervous and Kyara is the only one she feels comfortable to talk to about this.


It's been several candlemarks since Kaelidyth's flight, and the soft rumble of a distant thunderstorm is the only disturbance to the relative calm of the evening so far. Until that knock comes; Kyara doesn't have a door, but the frame of the threshold that's shielded by the heavy hanging separating her weyr from the ledge is certainly fine for knocking at. Liareth is also quite happy to chat with Amazolith, lover of a good talk that she is, and spares only the briefest of warning to her rider that the weyrling green is coming. Kyara blinks, arching a brow and standing from the stool at her small table to come over to the hanging and pull it aside. "Delila?" She looks the dark-haired young woman over and tilts her head a bit in question. "This is unexpected. What can I help you with?" She steps aside a bit, gesturing for Delila to come in if she feels so inclined.


Delila breaths a sign of relief as she automatically salutes, "Thank you so much for seeing me…I just wanted to talk to you about dragons and their um…" Her cheeks blush as she figdets with her hands and twists her fingers as she wrings her hands. She moves in before she continues, "You know their um." She points up as her cheeks continue redden. She takes a deep beath and screws up her courage, "Dragons and their mating habits." She finally gets out although she covers her mouth as the blush creeps up over her ears.


The moment Delila falters at the end of her explanation, Kyara becomes certain of where the conversation is going to go. How could it not, after today? She suspected her greenriders would likely have the most difficultly with things, and hoped fervently that Delila would be among those who chose to go visit somewhere outside the Weyr when Kaelidyth took to the pens. She distinctly remembers doing the same when she was a weyrling. Her expression softens, sympathetic, as Delila's blush deepens, and the AWLM gives a quiet 'ahh', smiling. "Of course," she says quietly. "The lecture isn't until next month, but all things considered…" She gestures to one of her comfortable chairs near the low table. "Have a seat, Delila," she says, moving around to drop into the other chair sitting squared at the corner to it. "I don't blame you, after today. Just make sure you say what you're thinking; being afraid of it won't be good for Amazolith, in the long run. So. What would you like to know?"


Delila moves so sit down in one of the comfy chair and she did take Amazolith out to the lost oasis to investigate one of the caves that had found the one with the strange smells. She had heard all ready that Sa'id had won the gold flight and that the other bronzes and browns were sulky. She has also heard what happens after the gold flight and she has a head full of holder /truths/ about riders. She puts her hands on her lap and sits up straight like a steel rod was in her back. She looks a bit lost as she has so many questions it's hard to pick one out as her face looks like the color of a redfruit as she stammers out, "Do I have to let any and every rider sleep with me that wants to?"


"What? No!" Kyara replies immediately, almost seeming to startle straighter herself as her brows knit fiercely. "Where did you get that idea?" she asks in a tone still confounded, but a little less sharp. "This isn't something one of the other weyrlings has been saying, is it?" Some of the other male weyrlings can be absolutely obnoxious that way. "It isn't true, regardless of where you've heard it. What happens during a flight is beyond our control, but in day to day life…no. Absolutely not. It's your choice and yours alone who you sleep with, no matter who wants what from you."


Delila hmms, "Well I didn't mean to hear it, but my father said it to one of his friends that all riders do when they aren't fighting thread if, eat, sleep, deficate and fornicate. And that the tithes only support that reprehensible lifestyle. I stay in my weyr right after dinner most nights with Amazolith so I haven't been to any of the all night orgies, but if it's my duty as a greenrider to go I'll start going." She shakes her head, "I haven't told anyone. I try not to bring up that I'm from a hold so I don't seem so different from the rest of them. I know that greenriders are supposed to be a comfort for the other riders, but I've never done anything like that before."


"Delila…" Both of Kyara's hands rise to scrub at her face, and she sits forward, draping her forearms over her knees as amber eyes level on the green weyrling. "You're going to have to forgive me for saying this, but your father is wrong. Very wrong, and it's ignorant of him to speak about a life he knows nothing of. There are no orgies," except for those who like that sort of thing, one supposes, "no…duties that require you to be anyone's 'comfort' or anything like that. Get that idea out of your head right now." Sighing to settle herself a bit, she takes on a gentler demeanor again. "Being from a Hold shouldn't be a point to hide, Delila; there's no shame in not being Weyr-bred. I'm Craft-bred, myself; I had very little concept of Weyr life except for visits when I was a Harper, and when I jumped forward, before I Impressed, I had to learn a lot about Weyr life, and quickly. When you aren't fighting Thread and taking care of your lifemate, you live. You relax and enjoy yourself however you wish. You take up with whomever you like whenever you feel sharding ready, and don't you let anyone make you think otherwise."


Delila looks at Kyara, "Really he's really wrong. I mean you all have been so great and kind here to me. I didn't think he was right, but I'm not a full rider yet and I didn't know that you know maybe those duties are only for full riders to do since we are still weyrlings. I am trying to learn as much as I can, but everything seems to be done one way at the holds and another man here." She leans in and whispers, "Do you know that there are men here that like to sleep with other men?"


"Sleeping with someone is never about duty, Delila," Kyara emphasizes with a short, sharp gesture of dismissal. "No matter who or what you are." The weyrling's last has her nodding slowly. "Yes. And women who like to sleep with other women. Some who like to sleep with both. I know it isn't a common thing out in the Holds and the Crafts, but it is at the Weyr, and one of the big reasons is because of flights. It's not the only reason, but it's a major one." Rubbing her neck a bit, Kyara presses her lips into a thin line for a moment, trying to figure out how best to go about this part. "I can explain, if you're alright to go on." The poor girl might need a moment to breathe a bit, if Kyara were to venture a guess.


Delila nods a little bit, "Maybe I should write this down." She goes to take out her note pad and she starts to write down. "I have never heard of it until I came here. I can't even imagine…I mean my mother explained how boys and girls go about it and I live around animals so it's hard not to notice that, but they are animals." She nods, "Please do explain." She says as she's focused on writing down although her neck and ears are red from just thinking about it. "I'll try not to burst into flames."


"There's…a bit more to it when people are involved," Kyara notes when Delila makes her comparison to animals. "At least, when flights aren't a factor. But when they are…" She settles back in her seat a bit, her hands beginning to factor into her speech with small gesticulations as she goes. "When you're a greenrider - or a goldrider - and your dragon rises to mate, you feel that impulse in yourself. It's like when you feel her pain or her hunger or anything else, but much, much stronger. It's different for everyone. For instance, when Liareth flies, she takes me over the longer she's in the air, and once she's caught, I…lose myself. For some riders, they can keep control longer, and they remember everything. But the point is, the mating instinct takes over, and you'll react to it by ending up with the rider of the dragon who catches yours."

She makes a short, almost chopping motion with one hand to emphasize her next. "It doesn't have to mean anything; it's just sex. Instinct - the dragons', not yours. Men and women ride green, blue, and brown, so there's the chance you could end up with someone of the same gender. Some people find they like the result. Some have always preferred the same sex. It's completely acceptable here. What you have to remember about flights is that the aftermath doesn't necessarily reflect your preferences. For example…" One hand flips over at the wrist as she clears her throat lightly. "When Liareth went up for the first time, the rider of the dragon that caught her was a woman. I'm not interested in women that way, but the result was out of my hands. It was a little frightening at first, but when I understood that it didn't change me, or her, or mean anything except that it was a flight, that made dealing with it easier." With a slight shift of her shoulders, she speculates, "Maybe that's where your father got the idea you have to sleep with anyone who wants to have you. The only times you don't have a say in the matter are during flights, and those are never about you. All other times, your body and - most importantly - your heart are yours to do with as you see fit."


Delila nods a little bit as she continues to write and listen to Kyara as she explains the facts of weyr life to Delila, at least this one facet of weyr life. She nods a little bit, "So my first time could be with just some stranger? What if I don't feel those feelings for anyone before then. Every time she goes up I'll just be with some stranger and they'll just use me until the next morning?" She asks mortified that she'll have to go through that. "Is there anyway that I can stop it like go far far away like I did today?" She asks as she can't believe that she'll have to do this, "Is it like once a year?"


Kyara finds herself shaking her head vehemently as Delila volleys off her questions. "It could be a stranger, but it doesn't have to be. We always recommend that if you face your dragon becoming mature and you're still a virgin, you find someone to help with that. Someone you know and trust." She spreads her fingers, glancing down at them for a moment. "I was, when I finished weyrlinghood. There was someone I trusted who I'd said I wanted to be with for my first, and he was willing…but I waited too long, and a goldflight happened. I got lucky. Very lucky. The man I ended up with for that was someone I knew, and he's the man I'm with now. But it could very easily have been a different story. So I didn't go into Liareth's first flight as a virgin, but I was caught off guard by the goldflight. Sometimes life sneaks up on you like that. But if you can help it…" Her eyes rise to Delila's once more. "If there's someone you trust, I would ask them. The odds are very high that they'll understand, especially if they're Weyr-bred, or have lived here a long time. And no, you can't stop it. You can't run from your dragon's instincts, and you can't make her not rise any more than you can make her not hunt or not flame Thread."

There's another shake of her head. "The rider whose dragon catches isn't using you; they're caught in the same instincts you are, nothing more. When you're both released from that instinct, it's up to you both what happens beyond that. Yes, it might be a stranger sometimes, but you have to remember they're dealing with the same thing you are, just from a different perspective. They don't mean to anymore than you do. As for how often…" She lifts her hands, shifting them up and down alternately in a sort of weighing motion. "Each dragon is different, though greens tend to rise two to four time a Turn. Liareth rises fairly often, though I can't predict how long she'll go between each time. But I know other dragons who have gone months, Turns even, between flights. Three is a more normal average for a green, but there are always exceptions."


Delila bites her lower lip, "I don't know if there is someone I trust like that. I mean all the boys in my class I think of like brothers. What do I do? Should I wait until I'm a full rider and hope I find someone?" She asks and nods as she writes down to be careful of goldflights. "I'll try to keep out of the weyr when there are gold flights." She listens and pales as she hears the three or four times a turn. She nods a little bit, "Does it get any easier?" She asks as she doesn't know she'll ever get used to that.


"You don't have to wait until you're a full rider," Kyara replies with a small smile. "It's a beautiful thing to find someone, whenever it comes along. There are plenty of people here you can get to know and see where things go. But the boys in your class… You've got actual brothers; are you sure you feel the same about F'in and Th'bek and all the rest as you do about your actual kin?" There's no doubting in her tone, just a subtle challenge for Delila to truly, deeply examine her relationship to those men. "I ran from the first goldflight that came along after I Impressed," she confesses, "but I stayed for the next. I decided it wasn't good for Lia for me to be living in fear of flights all the time, and that's what you need to think of above all else - what's good for your lifemate. Amazolith won't be able to help what she does any more than you can help breathing…but we can learn to conquer our fears. You've had to learn to conquer a lot of those since you became a weyrling, yes? This is one more."

To the question of getting easier, Kyara nods. "It does, I promise. As long as you learn to accept what's going on as natural for a rider. I didn't know whether or not I'd ever get used to it myself. Now, though…" Another shrug raises and drops her shoulders. "Lia's gone up four times, and her fifth is probably coming soon. I'm used to it now. She enjoys it, and I've learned to give myself over to that joy. But when it's over, I don't stay with the rider who catches. We understand, and we move on. It doesn't make me unfaithful to the man I'm in love with. If you choose not to stay with the rider afterward and just go about life as usual, there's nothing wrong with that. You just make it clear to them that you're not interested in sticking around, congratulate their lifemate on catching yours and making her happy, and move along."


Delila pauses at this and she nods a little bit, "I will look at how I feel towards the rest of the weyrlings to see if I'm really sure." She blushes a bit, "You haven't heard anything have you if any of them like me?" She wonders as she does want the other weyrlings to like her. She thinks that they do like her as a person, but not like like her as in be interested in a relationship. She already knows she doesn't feel the mixture of annoyance and love that she feels for her brothers, but is there something more there then comradery and friendship. She will definitely have to think about that. "Well I ran too from this one, you said to leave the Weyr and we did." She nods, "I think that you are right I shouldn't be afraid of flights. They are part of being a rider and now that I really have calmed down and thought about it, I'm being pretty selfish. I could if I wanted to be with someone every night, but Amazolith only gets to be with a boy…er male dragon only 3 or 4 times a turn. I will overcome this and I'll remember your advice." Her cheeks still flush a bit, "I'm glad that it gets easier. I don't know what I'd do if it got any harder." She chuckles a little bit at her own joke and looks over the notes she has to try to see if she left any questions she had off.


Amused by Delila's question, Kyara shakes her head, the corner of her mouth tugging upward a bit. "I think most are pretty wary of talking about things like that within earshot of us," she replies with a bit of a chuckle. And if she were to hear something of that nature from one of the other weyrlings…she likely wouldn't say anything! She leaves her reply at that and gives an understanding nod. "It's natural to be nervous. We're all built differently; we all react to the prospect differently. It's just letting fear get the better of us that could become a problem, but as long as you're willing to face it down and think of Amazolith first, you'll be alright. Shells, I still get a little nervous myself, but it's always fine in the end." She watches as the weyrling looks over her notes, then utters as soft 'oh' as she remembers one other little detail. "By the way, once you decide you're ready to…take care of things, go to the Healers and get the Tea. There's a red sort and a green sort - one for men and one for women, and it helps prevent pregnancy, if you want some added security. We go between so much that we usually don't have to worry, but the tea can help make doubly sure, if you're worried." Sometimes, that little bit of insurance goes a long way for peace of mind, with some people.


Delila ohs and nods, "You are probably right and I probably shouldn't be nosy anyway. Amazolith is. A lot. I've noticed lately she's trying to get into everyone else's business and she's been talking to adult browns and blues…should I be worried about that?" She gulps, "Or extremely nervous in my case. What if I don't find anyone before she goes up? Should I just pick a boy or a man? I mean some of the riders are very cute," she says, curious, and blushes. She nods, "I will be brave I mean I did come here and my father isn't the biggest fan of riders." She takes a deep breath, "I can do what I have to for Amazolith." Outside the green lets out a warble as Delila continues to write down what Kyara says and she ohs, "I will do that right away, we aren't supposed to have children right because our duty is to the Weyr and fighting, no time for children." She says as she remembers what a rider told her when she was a Candidate.

"I wouldn't worry," Kyara replies with another shake of her head. "You have some time yet before Amazolith will be mature enough to fly. If she's just curious, there's no harm in being chatty; she'll likely forget about what she was even on about by tomorrow. Liareth likes to talk, too, so she's not alone there. And if you want to just pick someone…as I said, there's no harm in asking, but I do recommend it be someone you know, and you have plenty of time to get to know someone." Delila's last has the AWLM remembering a discussion she'd had not long ago with Sienna, and she gives a small nod. "That's what the tradition of this time would say. But it's more that what we do usually makes us…miscarry, if we do end up pregnant." A brief flash of what could be regret slips across her features, but it vanishes rather quickly. "It isn't common for female riders to be able to keep a child, but it can happen. If it does, then no matter what gets decided, someone's going to get inconvenienced. It's said we shouldn't out of duty, but if our duty is to the Weyr, then couldn't it be said that bringing potential future riders into the world would be doing our duty as well?" She shrugs again, making another weighing motion with both hands. "There's no easy answer. Some would say otherwise, but the points conflict, if you look close enough."

Delila nods a little bit, "But I should start looking." She says as she continues to write and she smiles, "Good I'm glad, I'm glad she's getting more friendly. I worry about it, I want to be friendly with everyone especially my fellow weyrlings. I just hope I'm not too pushy." She says as she write what Kyara has to say about pregnancy. "You know it's kind of a relief that I get to choose. If I had stayed with my parents and not come here I'd be getting married off and then I'd be expected to have as many children as I could." She ohs, "That right you come from way before. What was it like then for greenriders?" She asks curiously and nods, "So it's really up to me then if I want a baby or not? That's really nice." She says as it's really starting to click with Delila about what living Weyr can really mean for her.

"So long as you remember it really isn't possible to be friends with everyone," Kyara says, a touch of bitterness entering her voice. "I had to learn that the hard way." As to the question about the treatment of female riders during her former time, Kyara begins with a quiet hum of thought. "Well, I Impressed in the Now, not back then, but I do know female riders were much more accepted. Just look at how many there are that came forward. It means there were always women Standing, always women Impressing, and it wasn't frowned upon. I think the attitude about us will change eventually; it's already shifting. But it will take a long time. All we can do is prove how able we are in the meantime." The matter of choosing pregnancy is met with a press of Kyara's lips into a thin line for a moment. "It is…but what we do may take it from you regardless, if you choose to have one. Just keep that in mind if you decide you want one in the future."

Delila nods, "I'll try to remember that. I'll probably have to learn the hard way too." She listens raptly and nods, "Yah I'm thankful that I was even searched I am glad that attitudes are changing, I know my brothers think it's very cool that I impressed." She ndos as she continues to write down what Kyara says and nods, "I understand."

"Well, I'm glad they do," Kyara says with a nod. "That's important support to have. But you'll always find it here, too. Always feel free to ask if you have more questions. I know how daunting this can seem, especially if you're inexperienced. Is there anything else?" she asks, shifting forward in her seat a bit.

Delila hmms and shakes her head, "I don't think so but if I think of any more I'll be sure to come see you and ask you abotu them." She looks over her notes and shakes her head, "Nope, no more questions, but you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you so much for answering my questions."

Kyara rises with a stretch and gives a final nod, gesturing for Delila to precede her to the hanging whenever she's ready. "You'll be hearing a lot of this again next month during the big lecture," she says, "but I'm always willing to discuss it. You're welcome, Delila. Go grab some rest, and I'll see you for exercise in the morning."

Delila nods as she puts her notebook away and gives a salute. "Thank you for meeting with me early about this. I hope I won't be so embarrassed about it next month, but I probably will," she says as she starts to head out to collect her dragon.

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