C'sei, Tyzana, N'tael, Il'ian


C'sei hits the kitchens for an after-dinner meal. Tyzana's there eating her fresh-baked pie. N'tael and Il'ian arrive. It all goes terribly wrong.

Sexual innuendo


It is evening of the first day of the third month of the seventh turn of the 12th pass. It is the first day of Spring and 48 degrees. It is a bright, sunny day.


Kitchens, Igen Weyr

OOC Date


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"All I did was offer a piece of pie."



Chaos and anomie reign in this hub of food production. It's not so much the smell, which varies from 'faintly edible' to 'coal', as the film of grease that adds a sheen to every surface and glues canine hair to the wall. The area is well set up, of course — it's a large kitchen with more than adequate counter space. There's plenty of room to get around, too, even with the centralized canine spit run dominating the center of the floor. The place is just, well, not 'up to code'. Several large stoves belch smoke that chars the blocked chimney's outer brick. Unidentifiable bits of food have been baked to the floors and ground in by the uncaring trod of drudge shoes. Even the sink is crusty, with it's constant tower of filthy dishes and lack of cleansing sand to be seen anywhere. Add in the bloodied smears on cutting boards and what you have is a monument to cross contamination.

Running under the assumption that this kitchen is significantly less of a biohazard threat than the description might suggest, C'sei would view this place as somewhere he could grab something to eat. Sneaking is something reserved for smaller and less obvious people, but still the greenrider manages to slip in quietly. It's passed dinner but not yet time for everyone to clock out for the night. Approaching a sideboard, he snags a few thick pieces of bread and what's left over from the stew they served earlier in the evening. Turning around, he bites into the bread and gives the general state of the room a glance around. Hopefully he's not too in anyone's way.

The kitchen's actually pretty quiet, and it's much, much cleaner than the description would make out - the head cook sees to that on a daily basis. Indeed, the results of his passion for cleanliness means that only a few are left in the kitchens, mainly those prepping for the next day's breakfast, and they are intent on their work. The only other person in the kitchen who doesn't actually work there (aside from C'sei) is Tyzana, and she's doing much the same as him; except she seems to have been cooking what she's currently eating judging by her flour-dusted apron, and it's a lot less healthy seeing as it's mostly made from sugar, butter, and flour - sure, there's some fruit involved, and there's a tall glass of milk, but for the most part pie is not healthy right? Tyzana doesn't seem to care, judging from the way she's digging in to the slice in front of her.

C'sei was fine when he thought he was the only person here that didn't actually work in the kitchens. Isolation! When he notices someone nearby, he shifts a little uncomfortably in his spot. He's just not a social butterfly, unfortunately. Between bites, he stares rather obviously at the teenager eating her slice of pie. The greenrider doesn't mean it to come across as weird or off-putting, but the unintentionally intense stare of blue eyes probably isn't going to be comforting.

Tyzana and C'sei are the only two nonworkers in the ktichens; he's eating dinner after dinner, she's working on dessert that she seems to have made herself. And currently being stared at, if C'sei's last pose is any indication. So it is that she eventually looks up from the all-consuming consumption (yeah, I said it!) of her pie to look around. Because she feels like someone is staring at her. She finally comes around to C'sei and eyes him whilst holding forkful poised in midair "Sir?" She sounds a wee bit confused "Do I have something on my face?" She dabs. Just in case. Because pie can be messy.

+1 another nonworker. That would be N'tael. In the SIX months since he got the big knot on his shoulder he hasn't quite gotten use to the whole 'Weyrleader' name people throw at him. Which is why he's a little jumpy when people call him that when he's totally just looking for a snack. Weird guys. So, sllliddeee around the caverns workers with a happy smile, little wave, oh look, a rider "C'sei!" He totally knows him, okay? "Tyzana." One Weyrleader just going to drop in and be here in this place around these people.

C'sei is absolutely staring at Tyzana. The average person would look away once they're caught doing something like that, instead he just blinks once. Then he points at the slice of piece that she's consuming, "What kind is it?" N'tael is too happy and too full of energy for the greenrider, he leans away from the younger man when he comes in. "Weyrleader." Because titles is how he rolls, you know.

So, that would be a no on the pie goo on face thing, right? Right??? Tyzana doesn't quite trust it being a nonissue, uses her napkin to good effect without quite all-over face scrubbing, then blinks right on back at C'sei. "Kind? Oh! It's cherry. The head cook said we just got some in from Southern and he said I could have some to make a pie. It's my very first one." Shy smile is sent toward the greenrider "Would you like to try it? It didn't turn out too badly…." And then enter the Weyrleader "And you too, N'tael?" Because she knew him before he was a bigshot.

Very serious N'tael, as he's just going to reach out and stick his finger in Tyzana's pie. Personal boundries, not N'tael's strong suit. Excuse him he's just going to close his eyes and be REALLY HAPPY. "Ye know, I ain't had good pie f'r… a real long time." There is licking of his finger that goes on before N'tael open s his eyes. "Ye gotta have some. Pie." <3 <3 <3 invisible in the scene but THERE IN TONE.

C'sei points at Tyzana's nose, where there might be a fleck of pie left even after the face wiping. Dipping his bread into the stew, he considers the offer of dessert with a serious expression. It's not something to be taken lightly but eventually he shakes his head. "No thank you. I'm trying to stay away from the sweets." It becomes an even firmer no when N'tael goes and sticks his finger in there. He begins to shake his head back and forth, "No. No thank you. I have a thing about germs."

Tyzana looks from her piece of pie to N'tael and then back to her pie. Which has now been befingered by N'tael. She shakes her head, and pushes it over to him. "Here, you have this piece. I'll cut another for me." She doesn't even try to remonstrate with him, because she knows it wouldn't do any good. He's N'tael." She hops off her stool instead and goes for another plate, maybe two, and sends C'sei a hurt look "You don't want any of my pie? But it's really good. And there's just a little sugar in it. I used tart cherries and cherry pie is much better when you don't use a lot of sugar…" Just enough to take that face-squinching sourness out, see? She slices another piece for herself, the knife hovering "You sure? Everyone loved my muffins. My pie is just as good." And before you wonder, she has NO IDEA she's innuendoing here (even if her typist does).

Oh, yes, it is so going down with that pie. N'tael manages a, "Thanke!" before he's digging in, this time with the fork. Germs aren't actually something he worries about. To his credit, he manages to clear his mouth before goin, "Germs?" Yes, please, share the nerosis. Reaching out a foot N'tael hooks a leg around a chair and drags it over, so he can sit on it backwards. Slightly wicked grin at Tyzana, "Y'know, ye proly ought not t' be givin' ye cherry away real easy."

"Ah-" C'sei opens his mouth to respond when N'tael drops that line about not giving things away real easy. "What the Weyrleader just said." The greenrider nods very very very seriously to this subject. But he's not going to get into the details, now if that's something N'tael would like to expand upon to the girl, by all means. He'll just stand here and look interested. "Germs." Maybe he doesn't really have a fear of illness, maybe it's just an excuse to not eat pie!

N'tael is just going to SHARE his whole TWO YEARS worth of experience on Tyzana. TWO YEARS. He's practically a grandfather at this point.

"My pie doesn't have germs…" Now Tyzana's looking all offended in C'sei's direction "At least, not any of it that N'tael hasn't stuck his fingers into." Offense turns to confusion as she regards the Weyrleader, again her fork poised with a bite in midair "And what's wrong with giving away my cherry pie? You don't seem to mind me giving you some. And I'd give away apple or blueberry too. I like to share. And if I ate it all myself, I'd get fat." Oh, dream on Tyzana! "No one's turned down my sweets yet…well, F'in might have turned down my muffins, maybe." She's still not sure if he ate those muffins or tossed them. Again, a sad look is sent C'sei's way - you see how you've hurt her? To reject her food is to reject Tyzana.

If N'tael is grandfather at 20, C'sei is just a dead person at 24.

Old as dirt.

At least he's a tall pile of dirt.

The fork is halfway to N'tael's mouth when it freezes at Tyzana's words. It's just going to hang there with a complete look of disbelief on his face. "Y'know. I use t' be that innocent." That's the upside to Igen, no one remembers that side of him. "But I ain't met any'un else what is equal… e'er." A raise eyebrow at C'sei, right?

Set: They're in a place in the kitchens. C'sei's standing. Nate is sitting. Tyzana doesn't understand what giving a cherry away means. There is pie with Tyzana and N'tael. C'sei hates germs.

C'sei squints at N'tael and then back at the girl and her pie. A war rages inside of him between keeping his mouth shut and the very intense desire to say something. The greenrider sighs and lowers the bread away from his mouth and stares straight ahead at Tyzana. Deadpan, "Sometimes people call what's between a woman's legs a… pie. A cherry pie. If you keep offering that piece of dessert around to people, well. They're going to get the wrong idea." He didn't make the rules of life folks, he just lives in this world! "I don't want a piece of your pie. No offense intended." He's being very polite about it?

A man needs to eat and it's arguably easy to lead Il'ian to the kitchens with the scent of whatever is giving off those delicious smells. However, the bronzerider draws up short when he walks in on C'sei talking about a cherry between a woman's legs. "Am I… interrupting something?" The words are ground through the hesitation of his throat, though confidence softens the rough edges the young man has kept since impression. In the corner of his mouth a toothpick sits, stuck to the soft flesh of his lower lip. "And why are you talking about virgins," listen an assumption is made, "in the kitchens?" Humor glints, though his demeanor remains hard to read. A look bounces between C'sei, Tyzana, and the Weyrleader.

Well, slap her ass and call her Bob. Or don't. Because Tyzana is truly innocent, despite her background. And so even such a blunt explanation doesn't really impinge. So just watch the confusion continue as Tyzana inputs C'sei's words and processes them and…"But it's just pie. I made it myself." Clearly, there's some denial here. "And N'tael said he wanted some. So I gave him some. Because it's /PIE/. It has nothing to do with body parts, unless you count my hands since I used them to make it." She looks down at the pie in front of her and is obviously trying to figure out why anyone would consider it synonymous with a female's body parts. Her head shakes "I don't understand. That's just…." Ew. "Why? Why would they call it that?" She looks at her own pie. Can she even eat it now? And look, there's another rider come in and…"We weren't talking about lady parts. We were talking about pie. This pie." She points to the actual pie, so hopefully Il'ian won't be confused that she's talking about her pie. Or whatever it's called. Except "Virgins?" Were they talking about those too? She's so confused.

N'tael uses his fork to wave at Il'ian's joining of the group as he decides that Tyzana's innocent doesn't need to get in the way of that pie ending up first in his mouth and then in his stomach. "Tyzana ain't ne'er heard it ain't a real good idea t' be offerin' people her cherry." N'tael, with the best explination. Pie in the mouth before Nate cocks his mouth sideways and jerks a head at C'sei. "'n he's got a thing where he don't like germs"

"Because she's definitely a virgin." C'sei confides to Il'ian, who he's totally met before so we're just going to go with that. Also he confides it outloud with Tyzana just a few feet away. "Hey, I didn't make the saying up. I'm just educating you about its existence so that you can stop offering more strange men, sorry Weyrleader, your pie." As for that whole germ thing he just clarifies, "I don't eat pie that another man has just put his finger into." … He's halfway to biting off another piece of bread when he realizes he's fallen into the innuendo trap himself. "Well, fuck."

N'tael wouldn't objec to fingering C'sei. Just sayin'.

C'sei doesn't like dudes. :(

It's okay. Some people do that.

"Nnnngh." That assessment given in an indecipherable grunt. Yet, Il'ian holds himself frozen in the midst of the flurry of virgin talk and seems on the edge of turning tail and running. However, there is something super delicious that is making this decision difficult. "Cherry poppin'." This is what the man says with a chin-nod to Tyzana, "They're talking about popping a girl's cherry." He glances at Nate, then C'sei, then levels that intense, warm water blue eyed stare on Tyzana. "Cause a girl bleeds. Cherry's are red." Brow raises. She can draw the dots. And on THAT bombshell, Il'ian saunters into the kitchen for the chili cornbread gluten fest bubbling over the cook fire. He'll be back, don't ya'll worry!

Well, now seriously…why is this getting all personal? Confusion is no longer apparent on Tyzana's face. Nope, now she's all offended again, and C'sei's getting the brunt of her frown. "My personal business is none of yours." She says stiffly. And pulls her pie closer because he soooo is not getting any now. N'tael? He gets a nod of approval for his appreciation of the pie he's eating, and she pushes her fork into her own piece again. "And the Weyrleader only stuck his finger in that piece of pie. The one he's eating. There are no germs in the rest of the pie." This for Il'ian's benefit, in case he missed it the first time. Except then he's talking about cherry popping and bleeding and cue a sudden flush of red color running from Tyzana's chest to consume her face with crimson because hellooooo! Virgin here! Fork clatters to plate and she just shakes her head, arms folding over her chest as he runs away after dropping that bomb. She's suddenly not very hungry. "This is a very inappropriate conversation." She says in a little, embarrassed voice. "All I did was offer a piece of pie." And let's leave her lack of being popped out of it.

"Ye're proly right 'bout m'finger." N'atel is not at all offended by the insinuation he's dirty. "Ain't e'er gotten any'un sick tho." Unlike a particular bastard Southern alt. The pie is pretty much gone at this point, so N'tael's scraping the bottom of the plate for the last of the cherry. "Tyzana, 'm sorry t' be breakin' this t' ye, but ain't a whole lot've riders what are real politic 'bout body stuff. Ye're gonna have t' be growin' a thick skin if'n ye're gonna keep makin' pie 'n stuff." That fork comes up to point in Il'ian's backside. "'Specialy bronzers"

For the record, C'sei turned down Tyzana's pie several times! So he only looks kind of confused when she pulls it away like that. Whatever, he's got bread! The greenrider shrugs and finally takes that bite out of it. "Hey, whatever. I was just trying to help you out. I didn't make these things up." The bread gets dipped in the stew again and he manages to finish off whatever food he had in front of him. Nearby there's likely a place to drop off those dishes and he does so, lingering by the little group. When N'tael points at Il'ian, C'sei points at N'tael. "Especially bronzeriders."

This is the part where Il'ian backtracks into stoic silence when he returns with a bowl of something so deliciously aromatic that he takes a moment to lift the bowl to his nose. He studiously ignores Tyzana's discomfort and Nate's finger-dipped pie - in truth, he's angling for the savory meat juices of his chili, seriously. Il'ian's magic trick seems to be around eating his meal with that damned toothpick in the corner of his mouth. He gestures to N'tael when the Weyrleader goes on to talk about how riders aren't super shy about their bodies. Then, rolls that toothpick across his lower lip when his attention shifts from Tyzana and N'tael, and over to C'sei and back to the other two. "What?" And yes, he's totally eating with his mouth open in the most improper way!

"Well, then. Let's do that." Tyzana's got a sudden fire in her eye, and that flush is fading. Kind of. Ever seen what happens when you back a wild animal into a corner? Well, they tend to attack. And since Tyzana's feeling very picked upon…. "Let's talk about your body parts. What do they call them? Are they likened to pie too? And what do they call it when a man loses his virginity? Please, educate me." She even adds a wide-eyed, fascinatd gaze as she looks from bronzerider to bronzerider to greenrider. And deliberately picks up her fork and takes a whopping bite of juicy, blood-red cherry pie. Is that thick enough?

"Welp. I'm gonna be lettin' them what has got more experience be answerin' that'un." See N'tael. See N'tael stand. See N'tael salute the two riders. See N'tael get the fuck out of there before something terrible happens to Tyzana's brain from the inserting (pun intended) of male dick nicknmes.


N'tael is not Jedi.

"Don't get mad at me." C'sei jabs a finger at his chest. "Be mad at the system. Be angry at the man." But not this man, he didn't make up these euphemisms or puns. He's just the messenger! "You don't know what they're called?" This is dangerous ground, because the greenrider walks a fine line between being serious and being a kind of deadpan that's pretending to be serious. They both look similar most times and now is no different, he points down below and says, "Cock, dick or penis if we're going to be scientific." And then, "It's not called anything. Everyone just wants to know who you lost it to- How are you keeping that toothpick in your mouth without swallowing it?" He watches N'tael scurry off. "Hmpft."

Tyzana's wild animal's fire draw a widening of Il'ian's eyes and the bronzerider takes a judicial step back. That leaves C'sei at the front-line defense against all of mankind. He turns his head when N'tael FLEEES THE SEEN OF THE CRIME and then turns back to Tyzana and C'sei. "Mmmnnnnn." That's Il'ian's intelligent response that accompanies a gesture towards the greenrider. "Whaf he sthaid," he murmurs around a mouthful of chili. "Eh?" Balancing the bowl with one hand, he plucks the thing off his mouth. "I 'unno. Been doin' it as a child." He curls a half-smile - endearingly boyish - towards the girl, "No one cares about a man's first time. Only girls." Standards, man. They can blow!

"I'm well aware that males have penises. I meant, slang. Yes. Like cock or dick." Tyzana says, tilting her head - that flush still remains, but she plows gamely on after watching N'tael retreat. Huh. "How come you don't have a term for it? Seems kind of….one sided, if you ask me." Men. Il'ian's return to participation gets a little sniff of sound before she goes back to eating her pie. "Why do only girls care? For that matter, why does anyone care except the two people involved?" That's right, she knows it takes two people! Innocent here, not stupid or unobservant. And just remember. They started this. She was just offering food, not sex. "Maybe there should be a name for when a man loses his virginity." Maybe she'll make one up.

"Again, I didn't make these things up. It's just the way the world is. You don't like it, do something about it." C'sei isn't going to stand around listing all the ways that's going to be extremely difficult. Instead he just looks at Il'ian again, a slightly disturbed expression on his face for the way he somehow manages to not swallow the toothpick. Apparently he thinks it's weird. "I don't know, because girls are hot? Men are hairy and…" He makes a hand motion, gesture to the bronzerider as if he can explain this better, somehow. "Anyway, don't you have a mother you could ask these kind of birds and bees questions? So that you don't walk around offering everyone your virginity?"

Il'ian stares at C'sei. He explain? Warm blue eyes move in their sockets to give Tyzana a rather stoic-frozen gaze. "It's called… sex." Illy. So helpful. "Men don't bleed." Wait for it. "Blood." And this? This is getting far too personal for poor, old-man-and-the-sea Il'ian. "So I'm going to … go… and eat… my…" His words trail off, though notably that toothpick is settled into the corner of his mouth. That is Il'ian's exit, stage left. Okay, maybe he flees.

"To be honest, I don't really care what you call it." Tyzana says, her ability to carry this conversation now having gone its course. She's uncomfortable. And C'sei isn't really helping. Nor is Il'ian, except by disappearing much like the weyrleader before him. But then her gaze shifts from fleeing bronzerider to greenrider and she blinks at him. Did he just? He did. Fork pauses in midair again for a moment, and then is returned to the plate - which is where her gaze goes as well "My mother died when I was a baby." She says quietly into the sudden silence between Il'ian's leaving and her reply to the quesetion. And no one was all that keen to explain the birds and the bees to Tyzana during her childhood, either. "So no. No one mentioned that offering someone dessert" And now her head comes up and eyes narrow "Is the same as offering my virginity." And personally, she's seriously doubting that it's a thing. Because that would be totally stupid.

Bronzeriders are such cowards. C'sei stares after Il'ian's departure, clearly not impressed with the man's fleeing. He shakes his head before his attention returns back to Tyzana again, a girl that he's barely even been introduced to. "For about the sixth or seventh time, I didn't make these things up. I was just telling you about them. So get mad at me all you want, I guess." Mentioning that her mother is dead for most would cause embarassment, maybe they would feel bad or guilty for making her uncomfortable with the reminder. But instead there's just a return to a carefully guarded and passive expression, "Well, my mother is dead too. And somehow through conversations with other people I figured it out without taking it out on the messenger." He takes one last piece of bread from the sideboard and waves at her. "See you around."

Mad? Tyzana's been embarrassed, uncomfortable, a little offended, suspicious perhaps - but not mad. So C'sei gets another confused look when he accuses her of being so. Again. "But I…you…" she starts, then shakes her head as he starts to leave - because really, is there really anything that's going to make this conversation end any better? So instead, she just nods. "Nevermind. Goodnight." But she'll continue to be bewildered, because seriously - all she did was offer a few people pie.

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