Who

Taurie, Amani

What

Amani catches her assistant trying to work late and, after a chat, decides to do something about the workaholism.

When

It is late afternoon of the fourth day of the ninth month of the nineteenth turn of the 12th pass.

Where

Weyrwoman's Office, Southern Weyr

OOC Date 30 Mar 2020 06:00

 

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"…Living is more than just work, and I think you know that."


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Weyrwoman's Office

Although Amani has made this space her own, there are lingering touches of previous Weyrwomen. The dark cherry-mahogany of the desk, for instance, remains from one who'd held the knot two goldriders before her. Stacks of hides are kept in neat files behind that desk - mostly. Some are strewn or stacked upon it in evidence of ongoing work. Around the desk are several thickly-cushioned chairs that would easily accommodate even the burliest of riders or Weyrfolk, yet their make is nothing a Lord or Lady would turn up their nose at. Bookshelves line the walls, holding books and folios that are largely Weyr and Craft-related. One corner boasts a standing brazier that holds glowing coals in the colder months. A smaller hanging brazier can be found above it, most often with a tendril of Zingari incense emanating from the chimney of its conical top. Woven rugs and hangings that boast Southern's colors as well as Zingari green and silver and bold hues of red, gold, blue, and indigo warm the floor and walls. A sideboard graces the wall beside the door, offering up klah and finger foods for those with business here. Almost startlingly, a well-tended crossbow and quiver of bolts hang on the wall just behind the Weyrwoman's chair.


It's late afternoon in Southern Weyr and as the day is winding down for everyone, one Merchant still has her nose to the grindstone. Sitting in her dedicated spot in the Weyrwoman's offices, Taurie is surrounded by hides, catching up on work she's missed while dealing with the crazy shenanigans that have been going on lately. One stack is Weyr business, one is shipping business, and one is reports from her captains. It's a lot, and Taurie likes it that way. Most of the time. This afternoon its more grinding. Try as she might to lose herself in her work, she's constantly circling back to her thoughts, the men in her life, and how everything seems to be sitting precariously on the precipice. Groaning, she sets down her quill and scrubs at her face, one hand burying itself in her already work mussed hair. "Shard it all." She mutters under her breath and sighs.

Considering the day is winding down, Amani finds herself momentarily startled to walk into her office and find her assistant still there. "Taurie!" Dark brows arch high in surprise, and she turns to deposit the rucksack she'd brought in on the floor beside her chair. "What are you still doing here? It's just about dinnertime!" Not that she hasn't ever worked up until the wire before…but this has been happening with Taurie a lot lately, and with Ulrika back in the fold, the load has been lightened. She doesn't recall giving the merchant that much hidework…

Taurie looks up at Amani, momentarily startled. She hadn't expected to see Amani back here today. "Oh well, you know, hide work is never done." And working two jobs keeps her plenty busy. "Most of this is for West Wind. I got a little behind." Taurie rolls her neck, a resounding set of crackle-pops following. "Is there something you need?" Taurie raises a brow, reaching for her quill in case she needs to write something down.

"That's really just a figure of speech, you know," Amani counters Taurie's first, a little smirk momentarily tugging a corner of her mouth upward. Hearing that she'd gotten behind, however, sobers the Weyrwoman again. "I didn't know you had such a hard load," she says, and winces a little at the sound of popping vertebrae. At the question and the reaching for the quill, she lifts her hand, shaking her head. "No, just dropping something off so it's here for me tomorrow."

"For some." Taurie counters right back, quill spinning in her hand. "I usually don't… Been trying to keep busy." Because she has a lot on her mind, not that she's sharing much, it wouldn't be professional. She looks relieved though, that Amani doesn't have anything extra for her to do. She's at maximum capacity on her to-do list. Looking over at Amani, and the rucksack, she makes a stab at a guess. "Going somewhere?" An eyebrow lift.

"Trying? I thought you already were," Amani says to Taurie's assertion that she's trying to keep busy. "It's sort of been the state I see you in most often, Taurie." As for the matter of whether she's going somewhere, the Weyrwoman nods, wandering to the door of her office and casually making certain it's shut. "Paradise River for a brief visit tomorrow morning." Following that, she leans against her desk, folding her arms as she considers her assistant with some concern. "Taurie…you're always on the go, and I know it's been particularly hard with West Wind the past few seasons," the goldrider observes. "But lately…you really seem to be burning the candle at both ends. Ever since the day you found Edomar in the cove, you've been burying yourself in things, and you look so worn out. Are you alright?" She really doesn't think the answer can be a yes, but she wants to hear from Taurie herself.

Taurie is trying for levity. "Oh, you thought that was busy?" Taurie laughs and listens as Amani explains where she's going. Taurie would ask her for business or pleasure, but the Weyrwoman is moving on and Taurie is blushing. "I like to work, and West Wind did need me." She starts at first, almost interrupting, but Amani is speaking and she doesn't want to be rude. What Amani is saying isn't untrue. She has been burning the candle at both ends. Amani brings up Edomar, and there's less pain there, because the man lives, and is recovering, but there will always be a little lingering guilt there. "Is my work becoming unsatisfactory?" She asks, a bit worried there. "Is it unusual for me to bury myself in things?" Taurie figured that would be an established fact about her by now. Is she ok? That one catches her off guard. "I'm… Well… You really want to know?" Taurie looks doubtful. Don't mind her, she just really doesn't have many friends and well…people asking after her isn't something she's used to.

Amani is quick to shake her head when Taurie asks whether the quality of her work has slipped. She's never had anything but solid results from the woman, even now. "No, but you're doing it so much lately that it's a little hard to miss," Amani answers…and then the last thing. It catches the goldrider a bit off guard in turn, that hint of doubt that she might not care to hear about it. "Of course!" she says, unfolding her arms and moving around to her chair, pulling it over so that she can face the merchant. "Taurie, you're my assistant; I care what's going on with you. I'm also just me beyond it all; if you need a friend…" She turns her hands over in a "here I am" sort of gesture. "I know what it's like to be dealing with things. If you need an ear, I'd be happy to listen." A rather long way of saying yes, she wants to know. If Taurie wants to tell.

Taurie is touched by the offer of friendship from the Weyrwoman. "Pardon, Weyrwoman. I just… I'm not used to sharing, is all. A bit too independent maybe." She chuckles and leans back in her chair, a hand once more moving through her hair. She waves at the hidework. "This is how I usually deal with things, I work, I focus, and then other things come into focus too. But these days… that particular tactic isn't working as well. Work is great. It's my personal life that's a mess… what I have of one anyway." Frustrated, she blows out a puff of air that sends her bangs flying.

"I went through my own period of that; I know how it is," Amani commiserates with Taurie's first. She nods to what the merchant begins with, unsurprised to hear that just trying to disappear into work isn't working. That much is clear; they wouldn't be having this conversation otherwise. Mention of problems in her personal life brings about yet another nod. "Personal life stuff can feel so much more heavier than work," she notes ruefully, and gestures in encouragement for her assistant to go on, if she wants to.

Taurie gives a little bit of a sharp laugh at Amani's second bit. "Aye, you've got the right of it there." There's a lot of heavy going on right now. "Do you ever find yourself staring down two roads, and while most would just pick one, you find yourself wanting to go down both, but knowing that's not possible?" She's being vague, but she has to feel things out, she's not used to opening up to people who outrank her this way. And since Amani had offered both a listening ear, and friendship, Taurie finds herself at a loss as to how to bring things up, so… this works for the moment.

Amani's brows pop upward for a moment, a sigh serving as Taurie's initial answer. "Oh, I'd say I've faced that a few times in my life so far," she says, sitting back as her gaze goes a bit unfocused with remembrance. "When it comes to the Weyr, it happens more often than I like. In my personal life…aye. And it's always been because I thought I needed to choose between a relationship and my duty as Weyrwoman. Having to choose always caused heartache, and I hated it. Only with time was I able to see that I could have both. Considering where I am and who I have, difficult as those choices were…I don't think I'd change them, honestly."

Taurie listens to Amani, surprised when the woman explains in depth just how often she encounters those impossible decisions. "Aye, that must be rough. I understand the one about duty, it's one I've asked myself a million times over, and eventually came to the same conclusion as you, that I can have both." Taurie sighs, shaking her head and clearing it of the buzzing thoughts that have been plaguing her lately. "But I find myself with an even more impossible choice…The roads I choose between lead down very different paths, with two very different men.." And here, she looks uncomfortable, as if she feels she might be sharing too much, but once the ball is rolling…it doesn't seem to want to stop. "One I have history with, One I don't, One is… my comfort place, my friend, and the other a whirlwind mystery that's blown into my life like a hurricane, and left his mark, and I'm drawn to him… Both I have interests with, both I have intense feelings for that I'm honestly terrified of, both have their pros and cons, and both have now told me they love me…." She's kind of hysterical in her explanation now, talking almost faster than she's thinking. Her arms wrap around her own belly and she leans forward, as if trying to still an ache there. "And I haven't been able to answer either of them… It's a big damn mess and I'm having a very hard time seeing my way out of it… And I don't want to hurt either of them…"

Amani wasn't quite expecting Taurie to unload the way she does but is right there for it, gradually sitting forward again and observing the other woman carefully as she does so. "Faranth," she murmurs once Taurie finishes, giving a little shake of her head. "I can't say I've ever faced anything quite like that before…" She really has to think a moment about how she might answer. To buy a bit of time, and to make certain she approaches from the right angle, she asks, "Is it advice you're looking for right now, Taurie, or just an ear so that you can talk it out?"

Taurie considers carefully, fighting a little lump rising in her throat. This really has been plaguing her, and is just as confusing now as it ever has been. "I… Would it be terrible if I said I honestly don't know? I feel like an uneducated child these days, because my answer to most of the questions aimed at me or that I ask in my head is 'I don't know'." Taurie lets out a frustrated growl. "It's maddening!" She pinches the bridge of her nose and scrubs at her face with her hands, again running one through her now very mussed locks.

"No, it wouldn't be terrible," Amani assures her. "I think it's part of the process of figuring it out; it won't stay at 'I don't know' forever. Or it shouldn't, at least." She reaches out and places a gentle hand on Taurie's shoulder, squeezing gently. "For what it's worth…I can tell you what I think, and you can decide if it helps or not." She's not the best person to be giving advice on such things, or so she believes. But she does know what her gut reaction to the whole matter is.

Taurie seems relieved that Amani doesn't judge her for not knowing, and seems to be understanding about it. The hand on her shoulder is welcome, and helps, even if only a little. "Sure, why not? An outside opinion would be most welcome at this point." It has to be better than circling in her own thoughts over and over and over. She sighs, trying to dispel some of the tension building up inside her. She can't let it get the best of her, all this.

Amani gives a little sigh herself, trying to line up her words properly. She drops her hand for the moment, but stays sitting forward forearms resting along her thighs and her hands clasped lightly between her knees. "I think that…comfort and mystery - or maybe it's better to think of it as excitement, in this case - both have their places in our lives. When it comes to what sort of person you want to be with, I'd think someone who can give you both would be ideal, but that looks different for everyone. I'd say…get to know your mystery man better, and then weighing between the two might get easier. Maybe you can't give either of them an answer right now because you already love them both, for different reasons. When there's more familiarity there…maybe it'll become more clear who you're meant to love as a dear friend and who you're meant to love as a partner." She gives a little shake of her head and a small, sympathetic smile. "Love is the most wonderful and most painful thing at the same time. It's the biggest risk you'll ever take, and you just…have to be alright with it, because life without it would be completely colorless, if you ask me."

Taurie listens carefully to what Amani says. Parts of it line up with what she's already figured out, that time is needed, that spending time with them is important. "That's good advice.." She murmurs finally after Amani is done speaking. Though the last of what the Weyrwoman has to say has Taurie emitting a sarcastic sort of laugh. "Life was much easier before it came along…" Because that too, had stuck. Maybe she does love them both… Which makes things so much more complicated. Groaning a little, she sighs. "So the question left is… what do I do in the meantime?" She waves at her work. "Because this obviously isn't working…and well, apparently is has people worried about me." She hasn't even gotten a good chat in with her father since he's come in, just a couple of ships passing in the night.

"I've come to believe life isn't meant to be easy," Amani comments ruefully. "As for what to do in the meantime, I'm going to make it a little easier for you to figure out what, because trying to hide from it all in hidework doesn't solve anything." And she knows Taurie may protest because of her nature, but she's going to do this anyway. She's done it to others before, after all. "I'm giving you leave from your duties as my assistant for…let's say three sevendays. Ulrika's back; nothing's going to become unmanageable. But you need some time away from work, and since I know I can't order you to lighten the load for West Wind, I can at least have you do this. But." Klah-dark eyes pin blue-green pointedly with her next. "That doesn't mean you should fill in that gap with your merchant work, because that still won't help you sort your situation."

Taur flinches at Amani's first, knowing full well the woman is right. "I know, I know…" And Amani might know her assistant better than Taurie thinks she does, because she does indeed protest a little at being given a break from work. But, Amani doesn't seem like the type to argue with and Taurie does have to, and has admitted that work isn't working as a distraction, or a help. "Are you sure it needs to be almost a month?" She asks, that being as far as she's willing to argue. And her face takes on a 'darn, caught me' look when Amani advises against ramping up her work for West Wind. Again. She's right. It isn't going to help. "I can probably get my father to take on some of my workload actually… Three sevens?" Again, this seems like a lot of time to Taurie, but Amani is the boss.

"Yes." Amani makes a firm emphasis about the amount of time, but softens it with a chuckle. "Taurie, I understand that working is important for you, but…living is more than just work, and I think you know that. You just need some time to find the right balance, and even if three sevens isn't enough to figure things out completely, you need the time to recharge. It's obvious whenever I see you these days." Both hands come to rest on both of Taurie's shoulders now. "Go use it wisely. And if you need to talk and feel like you can talk to me, I'm here. Don't worry about the knot on my shoulder; I've got enough people doing that every day." Thank goodness she has friends who can see past the darn thing easily enough; she'd likely feel very lonely otherwise, apart from F'kan and Zymuraith.

Taurie heaves a big sigh and nods. "Aye, alright, alright. I'll see what I can do." Taurie smiles a bit at Amani, grateful for the words and the comforting touch. "Do I really look that bad?" She asks with a laugh, touching on what Amani might have seen these days. As for the offer of an ear, Taurie nods. "I'll try to remember that. I don't know how much talking I'll need, but I may need a partner for a stiff drink sometime." And this is Taurie, trying to extend that offer of friendship right back. Because honestly, Taurie does feel lonely a lot and it had felt nice to talk and have someone listen that's not invested in what's going on.

Amani laughs softly. "I can definitely do that." Faranth knows she knows how nice it can be to just have quiet and a good drink at the end of the day sometimes. As for how Taurie looks… "I wouldn't say bad, Taurie, just…like you're dealing with a lot. Tired. And a little like maybe you've been trying to pull your hair out without really noticing." Frequent fingers through the hair can do that, after all.

Taurie , oddly enough, is just about to run her hand through her hair again when Amani brings it up and she becomes conscious of it. "Shards… maybe I do need the break." She laughs and sighs, after all, appearance is one of Taurie's things and well, she'll have to work on that. She looks around at the stacks of hides on her desk and blows out a harsh puff of air. "I suppose I should pack this all up and put it away then, aye?" That might take a minute… maybe she should just leave it where it sits.

At that, Amani stands up, and shakes her head, making a shooing motion at Taurie. "No, I'll take care of it. Your leave starts now. Go have a good dinner and a long, hot soak or something like that," she tells the merchant, giving her a somewhat lopsided smile. "And wine. Or whiskey; whatever you like. Just not while you're soaking; I hear that's a bad idea." And once Taurie's out of her office, she'll take care of those hides, setting them aside for tomorrow before seeking her own dinner and then seeing if her weyrmate has managed to make it home before her.

Taurie is shooed, verily! She gets up from her place at her desk and takes one last look. She seems to hesitate for a moment, before turning and giving the Weyrwoman a light hug of thanks. "Oh aye, liquor and bathing never mix well…" Well, maybe not never, but those situations are rare. "I'll keep in touch. Thank you Amani… I didn't realize how much I needed to talk." And then, with one more look of thanks, Taurie gathers her personal things and heads to the living caverns with new thoughts on her mind, and perhaps feeling a little lighter than she has in sevens.

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