Who

R'mar, Kyara

What

Kyara comes across a friend at the Star Stones, but their ensuing chat is more concerning than casual.

Allusions to depression

When

It is evening of the twenty-fifth day of the fourth month of the thirteenth turn of the 12th pass.

Where

Star Stones, Igen Weyr

OOC Date 25 Feb 2018 07:00

 

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"People don't sit up at the Star Stones and brood over nothing, R'mar."


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Star Stones

The climb up here on foot is steep, narrow stone steps carved high into the sandstone, and from the top the precipice-drop to the jagged-craggy stones far, far below is treacherous. It's a wide sweep of ledge, a dragonlength and a half jutting out from a rough cliff wall. The wind here is ceaseless, dusty-dry during daytimes and biting at night. But for those who brave the climb to this lookout perched high above the Weyr's bowl, the view from these sandy-red rocks is breathtaking. Igen stretches wide-wide-wide around, a vast expanse of deep blue lake and lush green swamp and the myriad rust-rich colours of desert and rock. The real purpose of this spot, though, is highlighted not in its view of what is below but its view of what is above. Three tall rocks stand, one balanced across the tops of the other two, at the focal point of the ledge, perpetually framing one slice of the desert sky beyond.


The star stones glisten as the storm slowly begins to reach the Weyr. Below, in the bowl, figures can be seen scurrying to protect themselves from the growing winds that will bring heavy rains that are rare on their own to the area. The sun sits low on the horizon, and, save the watchrider on the edge of the Bowl watching those below, the ridge is empty. Well, except for one lone figure. R'mar sits on the edge of one of the largish rocks near the Star Stones, staring off into space. He doesn't move as the rains start, seemingl unaffected by the cold rains on his lightly covered shoulders.

The changing weather always seems colder and windier up here at the Star Stones, but the lithe green dragon and red-haired woman astride her don't seem to mind it in the least. Kyara's jacket is lighter than appropriate, doing little else besides slicking away the rain as she descends from Liareth's neck upon landing, a heavy sigh escaping her as she makes a bit of a stretch. It's then that she spots a familiar face not far away. "R'mar?" she questions, letting her arms drop as she crosses closer. "Is everything alright?"

R'mar glances briefly in Kyara's direction at the sound of her voice. He smiles lightly and then turns his gaze back to the horizon, not saying anything. A gold fire lizard can be seen in his arms, protecting herself as much as she can from the rains. After a moment, R'mar sighs and looks back at Kyara. "Depends on who you talk to I suppose." comes his reply, low enough to barely be heard above the wind.

Kyara comes around R'mar to lean against the upright stone beside him, folding her arms and looking down curiously at the little gold in his care. She glances briefly at Liareth, but her lifemate, who might normally offer out a wing for shelter in such circumstances, seems a bit more haughty than usual at the moment and keeps herself at a remove, preening at the other end of the ledge. It might have something to do with her hide seeming a little more luminous lately, though right now it could be a trick of the light. Kyara sighs, giving a little shake of her head before turning her attention back to the brownrider. "Well, I'm talking to you," she points out, "and I think the storm cloud overhead might be yours." Yes, she heard that too-soft quality to his voice. "What's the trouble?"

A shrug is the first response that the brownrider gives the greenrider as he gazes over the bowl. Narcissa looks up and croons softly, not her normal berating tone and R'mar absently scratches the gold's neck. "I wouldn't even know where to begin Kyara." R'mar sighs at this statement and shakes his head. "It's nothing, really." The gold seems to disagree somewhat, crooning again and standing up high enough to rub her cheek against her bonded human.

"People don't sit up at the Star Stones and brood over nothing, R'mar," Kyara notes, though her tone is gentle. She swipes a hand over her face, slicking away excess moisture. Her lips curve into a small, tilted smile. "Just…start at the beginning. I've certainly got the time to listen, and it might help to just speak it out."

R'mar sighs deeply. "I wish I knew where the beginning was." The brownrider shivers lightly, the rains growing colder and his light tunic soaked through so much the fabric has almost become one with his skin, sticking to his muscular frame like… well… like a shirt sticks to skin in the rain. Narcissa croons once again, this time her eyes whirling with worry as she stares in the greenrider's direction. Another sigh and the rbownrider looks back towards Kyara before speaking again, softly. "Have you ever felt alone, regardless how many friends and family you surround yourself with?"

Kyara watches R'mar's little gold for a moment, eyes going vague as she checks in with Liareth. A few images and impressions come across, causing burnished brows to lower subtly as she considers them. "A few times, here and there," the greenrider answers. "It happened fairly frequently after I jumped forward; most of my family stayed behind. Impressing helped immensely. Friends…I've had so many come and go over these past Turns, times of loneliness just feel like an inevitability now." Her head tilts as she shifts, looking down at him more fully. "Did someone leave?" she ventures, trying out her first guess about the images of empty places that have come across from Narcissa.

R'mar shakes his head lightly. "No, nothing like that. I just…" He frowns, looking down. "Jer is always there. I know in my head that I'm never truly alone. But… I just feel like even with everyone who i know is there for me, no matter what, Jer, Aggie, Lem… I just can't escape this feeling."

Now Kyara is frowning, this time in thought more than anything. "Well…I know loneliness is a feeling everyone deals with from time to time, even us," dragonriders, "who never really are, but…it usually goes away at some point. When everyone is obviously there, physically, emotionally, but you're still feeling it…" The greenrider shakes her head again, at a loss. "I'm not sure what to tell you, R'mar. Have you…though about talking to a Mindhealer? If anyone might be able to help, it's them; I know Master Valenia is highly sought after as a Mindhealer, and she's right here."

R'mar raises his hand in Kyara's direction at the mention of a Mindhealer. He stands, and the gold firelizard chitters angrily at the sudden movement, flapping hard to keep from falling into one of the growing puddles before landing on the brownrider's shoulder. R'mar moves towards the largest of the Star Stones and places his left hand on it. "I don't want to bother the healers with my issues Kyara." he frowns and turns, looking at her. "I shouldn't have said anything about it in the first place." With that, the brownrider turns his back on her and moves towards the stairs leading down the ledge.

"R'mar, it wouldn't be a bother; it's what Mindhealers train for!" Brows furled in consternation, Kyara pushes away from the stone and trails the brownrider toward the stairs. "Shells, you can't just wait on it to stop if it hasn't gone away after however long you've been dealing with it. You owe it to Jerelloth and everyone else who cares about you, especially if they - we - can't help you shake it!" Irritability is rising a bit easier in the greenrider than usual it seems, but in this case, it feels rather warranted, getting shot down over a perfectly reasonable suggestion. "You should have Jerelloth get you; the rain is getting harder and the wind is picking up," she points out. "You're likely to end up going the rest of the way down on your arse." At best.

R'mar stops short at the top of the stairs, the gold chittering in his ear in time with the words spoken by the greenrider. Taking a deep breath, and closing his eyes, the brownrider whirls suddenly. "I didn't ask for help Kyara. I've dealt with it this long, I think I can deal with it longer." A bugle is heard from the lower bowl, answered by questioning bugles throughout the weyr as the light of the day continues to fade and is replaced by the light from glow baskets throughout the weyrs. Narcissa alights into the air, chittering shrill at the brownrider who just swats at her once before she blinks between. "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks that I should do. No one knows what I am dealing with, and I don't really think they care to know." The rain abates for a second as the large shadow of Jerelloth hovers above for a second, his eyes red with the anger coming from his rider. A challenge comes from the watchrider's dragon as the brown hovers overhead briefly before R'mar looks up. "Jer, that is enough!" comes the brownriders voice, loud over the wind and rain.

"If I didn't care to know, I wouldn't have asked, you stubborn oaf," Kyara counters, stopping with her hands planted on her hips. "And if that," she waves a hand at Jerelloth, whom Liareth is paying pointed attention to now, "doesn't tell you that maybe it's time to try something different, then there is definitely something wrong, and I may just go talk to H'rik about it." Because she knows bloody well that there's likely nothing else she can do and doesn't like feeling helpless. Granted, it might make her a busybody, too…but it's better than just letting an observable downward spiral continue.

The brownrider stands there shivering. From the cold or his own emotions, it's hard to tell in the fading light. Jerelloth's eyes begin to slow and the brown lands carefully near his rider, his bugling turning to a croon of concern. Detatching from the brown's neck, R'mar's fair of firelizards quickly fly to the rider and buzz about him, Narcissa landing on the man's shoulder again as she nuzzles her face against his cheek. "I…" the man starts, but his voice fails him. His head drops, shoulders now drooped. "I have to go." he quickly states, his voice cracking slightly, and the rider turns to go to his dragon. Pausing before climbing to the brown's neck he turns and gives Kyara a quick smile. Once aboard, Jerelloth extends and beats his wings, rising into the air swiftly, before turning and gliding in the direction of his ledge. « Tell your rider I am with mine Liareth. I will never leave him and he will not leave me, » comes the brown's mindvoice in the night.

Kyara waits and watches, inwardly uncertain of just what she ought to do next while outwardly looking earnestly expectant. Of course R'mar won't just change course right on the spot, but she's at least hoping she's gotten through to him even slightly. At least he seems to have listened about going on Jerelloth instead of taking the stairs. "Aye," is all she can think to say in the wake of R'mar's last, and she watches until the pair is out of sight. « I will, » Liareth answers, though rumbles discontentedly as she relays the brown's words. Kyara nods as she moves to sit on the spot the brownrider had just been occupying. Thank Faranth for their lifemates. They are the anchors all of them need so often…some more than others.

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