The galleries have become a favorite haunt for the trader turned candidate, even more so since they have been allowed out among the black and white eggs. There is a forgotten pile of mending beside her as she sits in silence, her expression pensive even as she appears to consider the eggs for the nth time.

In reality, the galleries and her bunk at night were about the only places where she could let her optimistic mask drop. It wasn’t uncommon to find candidates engaged in similar activities here. So long as she kept her eyes on the eggs, no one would question her quiet.

Of course her eyes are drawn to the smoky hulk of the first and last egg she touched, the egg that reflected her very real worries about this whole venture. What if this time she was not one of the lucky ones? Did she want to be one of the lucky ones? Was this a gamble she was destined to lose? Was she pushing her luck? Was her boldness an asset or a liability? What misfortunes awaited her should Fate decide to turn its back on her?

”Prepare fer th’ worst me gel, then ye’ll always be well prepared…” Meryna winks jovially as she takes the baking from the oven. ”…or even pleasantly surprised!”

An affectionate smile crosses her features as her Gran’s words rise unbidden from memory. Faranth she missed that woman! Kindred in both blood and spirit. The occasional letter or visit a pale substitute for the turns spent learning at her grandmothers apron strings. She sacrificed this turns visit to be here, another offering to be consumed by the Weyr.

Naneska had no illusions about what Impression meant. It meant a life dedicated to protecting the precarious and precious wonders that people and nature had wrought upon Pern. Without one there could not be the other, man, dragon and land all had their parts to play. Intertwined, but forever separate through purpose and tradition. A dragonriders sacrifices were many and overwhelming. She’s heard the keens echoing through the caldera, and witnessed the single-minded pursuit of drink and sex in the aftermath. Could she lay it ALL down?

But there was something else. The prize that price paid for: the lifelong bond between dragon and rider. She had seen the effects, and sensed it in the ghostly echoes of the rare conversations she has had with other dragons, a voyeur infringing on the most public facet of this private bond. But the reality of her having that, a part of her that was so different and so intimate was something she couldn’t conceptualize. A sibling of the soul…

Perhaps it was because her life was filled with fleeting friendships, relationships that were mutually beneficial, but shallow. It hadn’t bothered her until now, this host of little loves, of new adventures. But now, she was beginning to wonder if it didn’t indicate some lack in her.

In a quick glance she looks towards two candidates a couple of rows down huddled heads together, one blonde, and one brunette, engaged in a spirited but reverential conversation. The pair of them had only met a seven or so before, and were already inseparable, and despite the near constant conversation the pair had, they looked to be no closer to running out of things to say than they were when they first met.

Wrinkling her nose her hazel eyes return once more to the eggs. Was that something she wanted? A bosom buddy that she could share her thoughts and fears with? She was already pretty sure that a man wasn’t the answer, as fun as she found them. But was a best friend? Sucking her lower lip between her teeth, she examines the concept from all sides. What would it be like to stop faking ‘it’ to make ‘it’ and just let go? Could she be that vulnerable? Or was she overstepping the boundaries set by personality and circumstance?

HA!!

The twinkle returns to Naneska’s eyes, eyes now focused upon the eggs properly even as her lip escapes to break into a grin. She wasn’t one to borrow trouble… she went looking for it, and improvised when she found it! While it would be nice to have a friend, a real friend, she didn’t need one. She found fulfillment on the trail, and meeting new people. Adventure and excitement made her pulse race and stimulated that explorer’s mind of hers! Stepping over boundaries was what she was made for!

Even this, this exercise in staying still, in routine and duty, this candidacy was a new adventure. The cast different from her first standing, the experiences she brings so much richer and vast, and the opportunities more abundant! She need not worry about currying Fate’s favor; she had wits enough, and vision enough to make Fate her bitch should it turn its back to her! And she was going to do it too! Either astride a dragon, or upon her wagon, one way or the other!

"I can't worry 'bout that. Worrying won't change th' outcome one way or th' other."

Another echo interrupts her thoughts, this time in her own voice, the memory oddly defeated and confused. But that was then, now she has gained another turn of wisdom right? Well, another couple of weeks at least! On this twenty second anniversary of her birth, Naneska is drawing comfort from what she has achieved so far!

"Worrying won't change th' outcome one way or th' other. But I can plan one way or th’ other!"

She murmurs, this time her voice ringing with the conviction of that truth. She has made her choice, offered her sacrifice, taken that gamble and it is up to her to see it through until her Fate is determined. One way or the other…