Who

Bradach, Casobet

What

(Backdated) Bradach is assailed by doubt in the wake of the attack on the Weyrleadership and seeks solace with Casobet…and finds himself motivated to go a step beyond.

Implied sex

When

It is early evening on the 10th day of the 8th month of the 10th Turn of the 12th Pass.

Where

Casobet's Room; Craft Complex, Southern Weyr

OOC Date 06 Apr 2017 06:00

 

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"Things can change in the blink of an eye, leave you regretting what you should have done, or never had the chance to do.”


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Casobet's Room

Bradach has been through his share of rattling events in life. He’d come to Southern to escape the ghosts of some of them. He’d also come knowing that it wouldn’t allow him to get away from any that might decide to jump him later on. Thus far, the most rattling thing to happen had been good, coming in the form of the woman he’s fallen in love with. But all it took was one night off from duty, one time when he could have been on rounds but wasn’t scheduled, for him to be shaken in much an opposite manner.

For both the Weyrwoman and Weyrleader to come under such debilitating attack by men who had slipped right under the guard’s collective noses… He takes it as a personal affront, a stain on the reputation of the guard itself. And it brings on an endless string of what-ifs and doubts that have battered at his conscience mercilessly all day. His walk from the barracks was a numb one, but his feet knew where he wanted to go, needed to go. He’d let himself into Casobet’s room, not knowing what he’d say upon seeing her or if he could say anything. He just knew he couldn’t be in the barracks after his debriefing. This night off has a bitter taint indeed. He sits at the end of her bed, staring at the space between hands hanging loose between his knees, trying to pin down thoughts that have about as much substance and constancy as smoke.

News in a Weyr travels fast, so it’s no wonder Casobet hears about what happened to the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman soon after starting her duties for the day. What’s worse is that she knows that Bradach hadn’t been on duty because he was with her. The worry about how he would take the news was on her mind all day, making it difficult for her to focus on anything. She was making more mistakes than usual, and those had been rare to begin with. Even then, she’d insisted that she was okay and kept working, even though all she wanted to do was to go look for Bradach.

When finally she is officially released from her duties, she rushes to the barracks. Only he isn’t there. Quickly enough, she turns on her heel to hurry back to her own room, not caring when people see her flying through the complex and down the hall. At the door, she slows, taking in a deep breath before opening it. The glows are dim, outlining his frame as he sits there. The sight of it tugs tightly on her heart. The door is closed quietly, slow steps bringing her to kneel before him, hands coming up to cup his cheeks, worried eyes searching his, so much more troubled than normal.

There are no words, nothing she feels that would help, anyway. So instead, she leans in to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead and moves to wrap her arms around him.

Bradach does know when Casobet comes in, but his head feels as though it weighs a hundred stones and comes up slowly. His eyes only meet hers when her hands frame his face, moss-green hues shadowed as though the winter clouds block Rukbat’s rays both inside and out today…and one has come for him personally. They drift closed when she places that kiss on his forehead, a deep sigh lifting and dropping broad shoulders as her arms go around him.

He gathers her close against him, pulling her into his lap and burying his face in the curve of her neck. She’s a steadiness he needs right now, a point to anchor at. To have his arms around her, to be breathing her in, to listen to the draw and release of her own breath as he holds her - it all helps him to feel as though he isn’t walking on ice for once today. Finally, after another deep sigh, he speaks, his voice low and rough and thick with all the emotion he’s been keeping in check.

“The captain…told me not to kick my own ass so much over this. I wasn’t on the schedule, so there was no reason for me to be there when it happened. But I promised…” He quiets abruptly, a subtle shiver running through him and tightening his arms around her further before he’s able to continue. “I believe in what I do, Cas. But when something like this happens…I can’t help wondering…what good are we? What good are the skills I’ve brought here if I couldn’t use them to stop this from happening?”

Casobet moves easily into his lap when he pulls her there, a soft sigh leaving her lips as his arms go around her as well, resting her cheek against the top of his head. She continues to remain silent, just soaking in his presence, letting him gather his thoughts, worry lining her face and yet unseen above him. A hand runs fingers gently through his hair, an attempt at a soothing motion as he begins to speak. The sound of his voice has her throat tightening.

Her hold tightens around him as she feels that shiver, her mind running as she thinks of the right words to say. “I can only imagine how you must feel…” she begins quietly. “I’ve never been in your position so I don’t know how good my words are but… Your captain is right.” She shifts, moving to lift his head so that she could look at him properly, one hand placed gently on his cheek. “You weren’t there and that’s not your fault. It’s not like you could predict that this was going to happen. You’ve been doing all you can. I know that much, if nothing else. Things happen, love, and some things we just have no control over, as much as we might hate it.”

With another sigh, she wraps her arms around him again, cradling his head against her. “People…tend to dwell on the bad…but think of all the good you’ve done. It’s not as obvious because the people here… they’ve grown so accustomed to feeling safe without thinking about it because of what you and the other guards do.”

The slide of Casobet’s fingers through his hair goes far in helping to ground Bradach further, but there’s still a lot of tension shoring up in different parts of his body. His jaw is still tight beneath long stubble, his neck and shoulders still carrying themselves at attention despite how leaden he feels otherwise. What she does reduces that little by little, but it’s almost imperceptible. It helps to be able to focus on her eyes when she urges him to look at her, but it’s so easy to just let his head go back to resting upon her shoulder despite her assurances.

“In my head,” he murmurs, an arm relaxing enough to allow him to stroke her back in a slow, absent pattern, “I know you’re right. I know he’s right. Except I don’t know if I agree with part about everyone feeling safe. This Weyr… It seems like no matter how hard it tries, something like this always manages to happen.” He’d studied up on the history before coming, so knows about the Coin Killer, the pirates, the other incidences of unsavory sorts (likely also from Black Rock) making it in to injure other higher-ups. “I can’t help but feel like we’re coming up short.”

He lifts his head then, and there’s a scowl pulling at his mouth to go with an angry flash of dulled green eyes. “And where were their dragons, for Faranth’s sake? Aren’t they supposed to be their first and last line of defense? Why didn’t they blast those Star-spawned gits into ash before they even got in?” Even as he snaps it out, he grimaces with a pang of guilt. He has to be missing something there. To speak against those who protect them all from Thread feels like sacrilege somehow…but this is something he honestly doesn’t understand.

One of Casobet’s own hands drifts downward to rub at Bradach’s back in slow movements, a small wry smile appearing on his lips as he disagrees with one part of her statements. “Ok, well, maybe it’s just me then…” Having the guard sergeant as your boyfriend certainly has it’s perks. The smile drops pretty quickly, however, as he continues, a quiet sigh lifting her shoulders. She pulls back slightly at his sudden expression, a frown pulling at her lips.

Her hands come back up to his cheeks, thumbs stroking the worry lines on his face as she looks into those pained eyes. They move slowly down, gently, an attempt to ease the tension in his muscles. “There are some things that I can’t even pretend to know about… but things happen, love. Who’s to say why this or that didn’t happen?” Another sigh escapes her, even as her frown deepens. One hand comes back up to brush back some of his hair while the other remains on his shoulder. “I’m… probably not saying anything that’s helping, am I?”

Casobet may feel that her drifting touch does help a little further when it moves down to his shoulders. Bradach opens his mouth, but whatever he’s about to say catches in his throat as he looks at her again. The remaining air huffs out of him, and his gaze drops, his head shaking slowly for a moment. “I suppose…knowing wouldn’t change what’s happened. Wouldn’t change where things stand now.” A Weyr with only its junior goldrider - though the former Senior, at least - and its wingleaders as leadership. And its relationship with Black Rock decidedly fraught to say the least, in his view.

“I’m sorry, love,” he says, lifting his eyes back to her and straightening so that they’re more level with hers. “You are helping. You’ve said things I need to be reminded of…and I’m stubborn enough they might not sink in right away. But that doesn’t mean they don’t help.” His hand lifts, the back of curled fingers caressing her cheek. “Even just listening to you talk helps. Maybe…no, not maybe.” He sighs again, his eyes holding to hers with the devotion and adoration he reserves only for her. “You’re all I really need right now.”

While Casobet understands the dire state of the situation, she also realizes that there’s nothing they can do to change the past. That being said, to dwell would do nobody any good — at least, it’s a philosophy she’s lived with for most of her life. To hear that Bradach acknowledges that is a good sign, at least, even if she can tell that the knowledge of the events still trouble him.

Her gaze meets his when he straightens, brows still furrowed as she worries about him. They begin to relax as he speaks, though only minimally. It’s obvious that she wants to help… but the how is something she’s struggling with. She leans into his caress, expression relaxing further as he continues, breath catching as his changes. Hands come up to cup his cheeks again, pressing her forehead against his. “And I will be here, always. Whenever you need me.”

It’s likely that the details will continue to nag at Bradach despite that acknowledgement until some sort of closure comes along. Or until it simply fades. Sometimes, as he’s learned over the Turns in his profession, closure never comes. You either allow the issue to eat away at you, or you move on.

He can tell that Casobet wants to do more, but he means what he says when he tells her she really is helping. Just to have her in his arms is such a balm to his being that he can feel the pain of the day calming, gradually giving way to the pleasant buzz of her presence and feel that seeps in around the edges. One hand lifts to cover one of hers at his cheek, the other sifting at the hair at her temple before sliding back to sink into it. He cups the back of her head as he tilts his to fit his lips to hers.

It’s a kiss that seeks comfort despite the confident sweetness and desire that fills it. He knows what he intends to give her, but he also invites her deeper with it. Wordlessly, he asks her to be his escape from the scourge of his doubts and anger, to drown out what assails him so that he can just spend some time soaking in the light and fire she brings to what they share.

As soon as their lips meet, Casobet relaxes even more against him, hands drifting from his face, tracing down the sides of his neck before wrapping around him, fingers slipping into his hair. The kiss she returns is just as sweet, wanting to provide him that comfort that he wordlessly seeks. To be what he needs her to be. To soothe and be that balm, even if she can’t do anything else otherwise. She deepens that kiss, a slow fire igniting as her body presses up against his. She shifts so that she straddles him, legs on either side, the other hand moving slowly up and down his back.

Bradach has never been one to get overly emotional - not since boyhood, at least. Most everything he feels is kept under tight control, locked away until it can get released upon a punching bag and, occasionally, with a bit too much alcohol. But he feels free to allow what’s built up to come through when he’s with Casobet, and while it’s still a bit of a push through the mire of Turns of restraint, he doesn’t actively hold anything back. There are no tears from him; he isn’t the sort and hasn’t been given a reason to remember how to cry. But he lets his anger be consumed by passion instead, disappointment and frustration dissolved by desire, tension soothed by her lips and hands and body against his.

He’s been free with his affection to her, which is intense enough on his own. But this is the first time he’s bared his pain and frustration over something to her, and he’s certain she might not be feeling entirely equipped to handle him in such a state. It’s why he brings all the tenderness he can muster to bear as she shifts, wrapping herself around him, giving of herself so in the kiss she returns. “You are enough, love,” he whispers in assurance against her lips just before he tugs his shirt away. His arms fold about her again, one hand drifting down to glide over her hip and thigh as he tilts his head to trail kisses softly down her neck. “More than enough.”

Some time later, Casobet relaxes with Bradach, her arms wrapped languidly around him. One hand moves slowly up and down his back while the other brushes through his hair. She turns her head slightly to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead, soaking in the gentle afterglow. “I really… can never get enough of you…” she murmurs softly.

With the way his brain is sparking in the aftermath, Bradach isn’t certain whether or not he actually sleeps for a few seconds or not. If he does, it isn’t enough to make him miss the kiss Casobet places on his forehead, or her murmured words, and he chuckles softly. “And I can’t of you either…even though I said you’re enough and more. And you are. All I need.”

He moves, pillowing her head with one arm as he turns onto his side and gathers her against him with the other. Gentle touches and kisses and long, languid caresses with light fingertips dot the quiet, simmering moments that follow. But as Bradach holds her gaze, his eyes glint, sharpening with words unspoken but not deliberately held back. He seems to be trying to figure out how to put them in order in his head first. “Cas…” is what he manages for the moment, a soft but husky beginning to what could be a statement or a question as his hand comes up to her cheek, his thumb grazing tenderly back and forth over her lower lip.

Casobet’s lips curl into a satisfied smile as she places another kiss at his response, just before he turns them. There’s a soft sigh as his lips find hers, responding eagerly to his kisses and touch. Muscles flutter delicately beneath his fingertips as her own hands roam across his back. Eyes open to meet his gaze, curious by the expression there. “Hm?” The way he says her name has her even more curious, even as her lips part slightly with the touch of his thumb, gaze flickering there and back up to look at him.

Bradach still takes a bit of time to speak again, his gaze lowering to follow his thumb across Casobet’s lip. It drifts to a stop, his hand questing down her arm until it finds hers and he’s able to lace their fingers. With a slow blink, he returns his eyes to hers, and he brings their joined hands between them, able to feel her heartbeat mingling with his own. He inhales, softly, not daring to use any more breath than he needs to be able to make his words heard upon a low, thick murmur. “Marry me.” Strange how two simple words can suddenly seem to carry the weight of the world, dense with the greatest hope he’s ever held. Precarious words. But he utters them with such warm, earnest calm that it could be he’s never said anything so certain in all his life.

Whatever Casobet thought Bradach was going to say, what he does say blows it out of the water. She feels her heartbeat racing, eyes widening slightly as she stares back at him, breath caught in her throat. There’s a sensation of an overloading of emotions within her that manifests in the pooling of tears in her eyes, seeing his unwavering ones looking back at her. Fingers tighten around his as she tries to open her lips in response but no sound comes out. She swallows hard before she finally manages with a watery smile, “Okay.” It sounds almost anticlimactic, the word making her laugh lightly before she leans in to kiss him. “I will.”

And certain though he may have sounded, Bradach gives himself away in the sudden release of breath he’d been unconsciously holding. He laughs in turn before her lips meet his, wrapping both arms around her and returning it until they’re both left breathless. “Okay,” he echoes, his grin so bright that it seems almost boyish in the overflow of his heart. “I think…I could’ve asked it better.” Something that would’ve elicited a “yes” or “no,” and likely involved getting down on one knee with a ring, but… “It just seemed like the right time. Things can change in the blink of an eye, leave you regretting what you should have done, or never had the chance to do.” Something sharply illustrated by the past several candlemarks. It’s certainly lit a fire under him to get moving with something he’d been trying to figure out how best to get around to. “I want only you, Casobet, for the rest of my days. And I want to always be yours, keeping you safe, sharing your life…loving you with all I have.” He knows precisely what he wants, and to between with thinking he had to follow some formula to ask for it.

A different kind of joy surges through Casobet in their kiss, reflected in the way she tightens her arms around him. She is indeed quite breathless when they finally part, eyes bright as her lips pull into a wide grin as well, one hand coming up to caress his cheek. Her heart swells with her love for him, hardly caring about any particular formula… as long as it felt right. And it did. “And I want only you, Bradach. To be yours forever…” She leans in for a lighter kiss. “How you asked doesn’t matter to me… all I care about is you. I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else.” She gazes at him lovingly, hand pausing just to place it on his cheek.

“I’m glad you didn’t think it was too fast,” Bradach murmurs, turning his head to kiss the inside of Casobet’s wrist. It was something that had nagged at him…but given their mutual devotion, he was able to swat it into submission. “If I’m sure of something, I go after it. And of all the things I’ve been sure of in my life…the one that’s most solid is that I love you, Cas.” And after the healing she’s help him do thus far tonight, he means to spend the rest of if showing her just how deep his certainty runs.

“Too fast, too slow… Who determines that?” Casobet murmurs in response, eyes becoming hooded by the tingling sensation that shoots up her arm when his lips find her wrist. It makes her breath catch in her throat as her gaze flickers from their hands to his eyes. “And nothing feels more right than being with you.” She is eager and responsive enough to him, showing him in turn just how she feels as well. Everything else can be left for another day as they indulge in each other for the rest of the evening.

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