Who

En'rys

What

En'rys writes to Reveka.

When

Before dawn

Where

The Cat's Cradle (En'rys' Weyr), Igen Weyr

OOC Date 14 Jun 2018 05:00

 

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It had changed him, the events of the past two Turns; losing Reveka, losing his son. One moment’s irresponsible lark had cost two people a good deal of their innocence, and it disturbs him. He simply can't go back to the man he had been — a costly mistake to put pleasure before all else. It’s high time he grew up, and planned life according to what it is now, rather than as he wishes it could be.

There’s a good deal of wondering roiling in his mind as he sits down to his desk. He hasn't heard from Reveka in a very long time — was she slowly going mad, longing for their son? He’s certain she hasn't forgotten. What mother could forget her child? It was unthinkable; A’lira had given him such a look when he'd asked, plaintive. “A woman never forgets.” That was all, in a quiet tone that signalled the finality of it. It left no more room for doubt.

Was she recovering from the whole, painful episode, slowly stitching herself back together into a new whole, filling the cracks left by loss and grief with… what? Could anyone really fill those gaps, or did they just… become part of the new whole? It seems to him that the pain of it hasn't gone away within himself; it had simply become a new part of him, like the ghost pain of an amputated limb. Changed, but forever there.

I cannot forget. But, well, that's natural. It would be madness to ignore it.

I should write to her. See if she's all right.

But would she want him to?

Nothing to do but find out.

Heaving a bracing sigh, En’rys gathers up writing materials, and begins to write.

Reveka…

How are you, love? We haven't spoken in awhile; I miss getting letters from you. I miss holding you. I wonder if you're afraid we’ll be strangers if we ever see each other again. Faranth, I don't even know myself anymore, not really. Things aren't what they used to be — it feels like another life altogether, doesn't it? Like some kind of fever dream I have yet to wake up from. A dream I'm not sure I want to wake up from - a world where you aren't.

It's so strange, even passing over the Zingari camp and not seeing you there, knowing you're gone from there, starting a new life in Southern. Is it better, there? Are you settling in well? I really want to come and see you, to spend time with you. It's hard, being so far away. You should not bear this alone — you didn't conceive our child alone. Why should you bear this alone?

That one question circles around and around my head, like a drunken wherry. I didn't do the things I should have, and I'm sorry for that. It gets harder to convince myself that this separation is best.

The question is, are you ready for that? To let me close again? Or is that dream over? I wish I knew, love. The misery lies in the not knowing.

I love you still, Reveka.

Daen

He stares at the page, uncertain, not knowing whether she would welcome contact from him or not; taking his courage in hand, he calls Serah to him and ties the message to her back, sending her winging between to Reveka.

The rest is in Reveka’s hands.

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