Who

Kyriatis

What

During Rhiscorath's flight, Kyriatis indulges in some selfish(?) thoughts.

When

It is noon of the twenty-fifth day of the eleventh month of the thirteenth turn of the 12th pass.

Where
OOC Date 05 May 2018 23:00

 

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Maybe there was something wrong with her.


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It was far from Kyriatis' first gold flight, and far from the first time a restday spent with her father had been interrupted— and yet. She resented watching him go, aware of what was in the air; she resented the interruption, and more than that, what it actually meant.

Couldn't Rhiscorath have waited? Another day… maybe another turn even?

That, of course, was selfish. She chided herself for it, and yet the disgruntlement lingered all the same. Kyriatis was, she realised, in a very teenage mood.

Part of it was that it felt as if her skin was too tight— Rhiscorath again, no doubt. She hated that feeling, and hated knowing it wasn't even her feeling. Why did queens feel such an enormous need to share?! Totally unfair.

Sighing, loudly, she abandoned the early lunch she had her father had been intending to share, and wandered off into the caverns. Deeper into the caverns— she had no intention of heading outdoors to watch the dragons (though she did firmly task Ilasi with reporting back when a winner was found… just in case.)

There weren't even eggs on the sands, the flight wasn't even won, and already she felt the pressure. 'You'll do admirably,' Alyna had said. 'You know your duty,' her father had said. 'Won't it be exciting!' her friends had said.

Would she? Did she? Would it?

To be honest, the idea that her dragon was right now being conceived made her feel ill. That in a few months her path would be decided forever. That this would be… it. That in another turn or so she'd be fighting thread and maybe even dying in the process.

It wasn't the dragon part that filled her with trepidation, she acknowledged. She'd always been quietly envious of her father's relationship with his brown; of any rider with their dragon. The trouble was that this… this was a pass.

Is it selfish, not to be sure I want to sacrifice my life for other people?

It sounded harsh, put into words like that. It made it sound like she didn't care about other people, and that wasn't it at all.

Mostly, it made her feel terribly lonely. No one else seemed to feel this way.

Maybe there was something wrong with her.

She sat down in a dark corridor, her back against the wall, and drew her knees up to her chest. She rested her chin upon her knees, and stared at the opposing wall. Maybe that just meant she wouldn't Impress. A dragon would see that she was a terrible person, and look for someone else.

Shells, it wasn't as if it was a guarantee that her dragon would be in the first clutch she stood for, either. With luck, he or she wouldn't be hatched for another few turns, if he or she even existed! With luck, he'd come from a Southern queen, too. With luck…

She squared her shoulders. The dragons, she reminded herself, choose. It's not up to what you want.

This one, at least, was out of her hands.

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